If you thought my previous blog eulogizing Winona Ryder's missing 18 minutes was too trivial, you have not had a chance to read this. Yes, I specialize in farfetched comparisons and parodies of parodies. Ever since high school when I compared Portnoy's Complaint and Pride and Prejudice (or some similarly unrelated literary treasure), I enjoy going just a bit too far.
To my point: Why do we disparage Lindsay Lohan and ridicule her excesses? She dresses poorly and drinks a lot. Her misbehavior is minute especially compared to the most venerated celebrity of all time: John Lennon. Is his incredible consumption of drugs OK with us because he was a Beatle? Because he lived in and helped define the sixties? Because it apparently helped make much of the music possible (just try singing I am The Walrus without feeling a little weird)? All I know is Lindsay Lohan has probably not consumed in her lifetime the drugs Lennon would ingest in the average week. Of course, her celebrity has far outrun her creative contribution so her drug taking might be the only thing left to note. But, all of our drug judgments drop away before the hallowed image of John Lennon. He even did heroin. If someone had put him in house arrest he might even be alive today.
